When my wife and I met at 23 years old, I had a higher salary than her and she had a small capital left by her father, remembers Yves, 67 years these differences, and we have continued until today.”
Should we count?
To this question, Nicole Prieur, psychotherapist and author with Bernard Prieur of Family, money, love. The psychological problems of material demands(Albin Michel), ensures that everyone counts everything: “In a couple, as in all relationships, we never stop counting. Implicit and unconscious counts apply to appearance, attention, etc. . Money is part of the great exchange system in a couple that includes affection and availability.”
From a strictly economic point of view, it is important that both spouses take care of money so that no one is harmed in case of separation. “Too many women lose interest in bank accounts because for them, more or less aware, the money will be part of the small, dirty”, notes Nicole Prieur, “But not taking care of them can put them in a dangerous situation”.
Money in common?
Most of the time, everyone arrives with their relationship to the money built with their parents and not questioned since. “The management of the budget is usually put in place without there being a real discussion”, says the psychotherapist “But is it important to talk about what we have? The common of all the accounts and the income is the most common organization , especially in case of marriage and children. “It refers to the idea of ​​being a couple and a family to share everything”, continues Nicole Prieur “It can generate friction regarding the use of this money, especially when the children grow up and at the time of retirement”.
Or separate money?
Among younger couples without children and new couples, separate accounts are the most common management method. “Not having a joint account means that you are only half committed”, notes Nicole Prieur “Income gaps represent a serious difficulty, common since three out of four women earn less than their partner”. Adding a joint account can provide a solution for managing current expenses. But how do you grow? Each half gives the false impression of equality, with the difficulty of following the lifestyle imposed by the other for the spouse with less income. Participating in proportion to your income is fairer.
Who pays for the accommodation?
If one is the owner, the other does not need to pay the rent to help pay his credit since the property purchased will only be in the name of the first. “The owner does not need to ask for compensation, believes Nicole Prieur. If the housing is purchased together, whoever has the most income can act generously to buy in both names equally. The unbalanced contribution of money is counterbalanced by exchanges general. It is important to highlight the emotional and relational issues of the budget choices made.